taylee5 (taylee5) wrote,

12:40 am...

So I go back and forth on this friends only thing. I've been in trouble for this journal SO much...so its nice to keep it private..but then again, I don't want to be two-faced and type something about ya and you not see it..lol. I'm making public again...starting...NOW.
Ok-so I have my "life plan" now...I think...well, I have options anyway..here they are:
1. Stay in Princeton-start back up in school in August. Go to school during the day, work at night. Good thing about this is I can go to school COMPLETELY free (1 of the only single mom benefits). Doesn't leave much time to spend with my little girl though. Maybe I can cut back some hours at work.
2. Move to Bedford. Jessica W. has been 1 of my two best friends for YEARS but we've never lived in the same town. Bedford is only an hour and fifteen min. away from my hometown..same distance from Indy. This would make both Grandma's happy and I could get out of this shithole (princeton). I couldn't go to school because I HAVE to work...for my sanity...so I'd probably be stuck working at a bank or finance company..or even worse.
This is pretty much all I've though of for now...I wish I had enough money just to move away from everyone and say fuck you as I go, but I love my family and friends..plus I'm broke..so its impossible. I HATE PLANNING STUFF. Someone do this for me plz.

Ok--so my job is a JOKE. I talk on my phone ALL night. An hour straight tonight and no one even noticed. I had a long conversation at work with Scott..this guy who just got out of the army after 8 years (he was last stationed same place Joe is now). He was telling me how much they dick you around and how they always make every field sound like its awesome..when in reality they just don't have enough people to fill those spots so they have to say SOMETHING. He also told me that every guy in infantry was a whore..I laughed for a good half hour cuz I didn't even mention anything about that. Weird.
I tried to teach Kyleigh some of those clapping things (i know you all are like "huh) tonight. She was just WAY too uncoordinated. Later that night, I saw her practicing against the wall. I love her. :)
AND..I saw Andrew tonight. I can't even look at him when he comes through. We just found out that he was divorced in October 05 (he's only 23). I wonder what his ex wife looks like.
After work, I went and bought Taylor two outfits, shoes, a hat and some bows for her hair. She is getting so big. I don't even know what to do with her anymore!!! She got my cell today and did who knows what with it, but it wasn't working for an hour. She stood by herself for like 2 seconds today too! I know she's going to be walking within the next two months. I'm kinda sad that her daddy won't be able to see all that. I know he wants to be in her life..somehow, but I just need to face that she won't know him at all. I wish things were different. Ok. Time for bed :)
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